I'm officially 88% of my ideal weight and it doesn't mean a goddamn thing. Everything hurts, everything aches and I AM SO FUCKING TIRED.
I'm not even afraid anymore. I'm not angry. And I'm not sad.
I am just numb.
I keep going to therapy but some how her words are jumbled now. They don't connect with me as much as they used to and I feel like she must be talking to and about someone else.
restrict restrict restrict purge run restrict restrict restrict. I'm like a little bucket filling and emptying. My shrink says I'm making progress, my dietician does not. The weight keeps coming off and off and off and sadly it matters very little anymore. No food feels safe, no place feels safe.
I am utterly lost.
Austen
how are you doing? I stumbled across your blog and I am touched by your honesty. Hope you are ok
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