I can't decide if I'm mad or if eating disorders are maddening. But then again what's the difference? Everything hurts. Every inch of my body screams and aches with need but I run, I starve, I purge, I do anything to make it shut up. I feel like I don't even function anyone; like somewhere along the line my soul gave up and died. This person, this girl who purges and starves and ignores her friends and family and hates and wants to slip into oblivion-she cannot be me. This cannot be my life, this cannot be what I was meant for.
I cup my hip bones, count my ribs, and feel validated so I continue through the rabbit hole, into the looking glass-whatever you want to call it. I feel like somewhere along the way I've given up on life. I want desperately for someone to save me but I know that I wouldn't let them if they tried.
Austen
No comments:
Post a Comment